The failure of familiar. The sanctity of anguish. It’s a made-up shame meant to keep the unfilled lung empty. I’m not a martyr. I’m not a fucking savior. I’m not under Caesar. I’m in my eyes. Walking an empty road, unafraid I want to see where it goes Loved a lie. Surrounded by the season shift Leaves crack In the fall Trees retch lean back The bees crawl Lights off Dropping Our complex lives Unseen You don’t say Don’t say You don’t save The violent Behave I used to think that Pluto was waiting for me But now I see that the Earth just felt unfree Frozen In the path of the heatwave From that lake Dried up Mother Father Rehashed Too much I want to Get bored With this truth Internalize it All the worms I’ve delegated. Webs of wicked echo-systems. I want to be myself, without those narcissists. All the worms I’ve delegated. Webs of wicked echo-systems. I want to be myself, without those narcissists! Disengage from the drive-thru let down Bells of distant love Echoes of the conditional wake, from the light show divorce Bells of resentment Echoes of the conditional love. HATE Fills my engine Imagining What is missing I am worth more than this Too long I have been treated like your fucking object Now you’re a pale projection Your fear of all rejection and pain Will keep you broke Failed at everything you were to be for me It that all you’ve fucking got? Come on! Not my problem You can suffer in your hatred and fear You’re a loveless creature: My own mother Not my fault and not my problem, I am not your father, I am my own person Go! Walking an empty road, unafraid I want to see where it goes

I need rage! Emperor’s ghost will come Hiding Checkov’s gunshot The doctors will see you now You won’t take me Nothing makes sense When you’re taught to doubt Everything you Are deep down You won’t take me alive! Nor dead! You can’t speak If you’re not there It all makes sense Cause I know the truth Everything you Are deep down You are just a person No cult! Just aesthetic Pathetic… Seas crossed like boundaries It’s your fault, I am a survivor Felt like you would chase me to the ends of the earth you despise for not bending to your will, so you hate me too, huh? I don’t care I don’t care No more pity Your selfish kiss Your selfish kiss I reminisce Now with context My sorrow lifts Into a fist I will not miss I swat the tongue Bring down the sun I reminisce Now with context My sorrow lifts Into a fist I will not miss I swat the tongue Bring down the sun Swat the tongue bring down the sun Swat the tongue bring down the sun Swat the tongue bring down the sun I believe in entropy I believe it comes around You don’t dream of finding peace You just dreamed the earth would drown You’ve been waiting for the end Nuclear apocalypse How was I to find a space? Underneath your early death Underneath your early death Underneath your early death Underneath your early death I am not a sacrifice! I could stand to be selfish, to love myself, to kill that mess I could stand to create space between me and the things that kill my peace I can stand to love my rage, I suddenly recognize that that is what makes me brave No you two could never understand the immensity of my inner strength The color drained from your eyes, and it’s not my destiny to save you, no no no No matter how hard you try to shove me into play! Lala Walk through the trees I feel the wind is holding me a guarantee that everything will be just fine! Buried the lead You cannot follow me you best believe I will not write another song about you

Measure the length Crows in the day Flooding the sky Feathers rain Sand in the drain Phasing in and out The shadow’s cast by the nearest star I feel science, all we know I put to use in my time on this Earth How much does it have to cost? It costs nothing just to sit and watch Clouds drift, and to understand their purpose Purpose Oh Well if it’s so well-worded Then I can truly learn Everything I want to know Death passing by in his feathered veil I know it will be just fine Worries passing In time In time (Guitar solo and vibes) Out-scream Your silence Through fear No hiding My peace is shaped like talons I speak and rest in balance Harbors Take the angel destined to fall His friend once An enemy now seeks deeper love and understanding Harbors Take the angel destined to fall His friend once An enemy now seeks deeper love and understanding I’ve been Journal-hopping again I’ve been Traveling back-and forth east west -can’t help it I’ve been Journal-hopping again I’ve been Traveling back-and forth east west -can’t help it They’d already know that to me it’s death row, uh They’d already know that to me it’s death row, uh They’d already know that to me it’s death row, uh They’d already know that to me it’s death row Death row Death row (Breakdown and shit) You’ve got a rage you’ve been desperately trying to withdraw If you were big enough back then you would have fought them off And it’s not too late to say fuck them yeah fuck that law The expectations that have cast chains and arms around your jaw, your aching heart Middle finger first then you can forgive if at fucking all

(Lyrics loading...)

I went cold, bit my tongue In disturbance, dancing sermons Lungs filled up, taste of blood I’ve been gnawing through the fabric I went frigid and then bit my nails again In discordance, in the furnace Lungs were filling up with blood and ectoplasm I’ve been chewing through my tethers Felt her whispers etching torture! I think I found the gate That can Circumvent Early death I was Making a left Green light I was not Unafraid Then I Remembered my Father He was so Cowardly I break magnetic pull With my Beating pulse Schizophrenic misdiagnosis I knew I was not meant for life but then the medicine woman had made a confirmation until I doubted the doubt inside of mind and realize everything was not that right Ah! Dissociation I wasn’t stupid I was a victim to a broken system! All at once, I saw clearly I had lost too much Hand newly guided I decide to look forward I was busy reminiscing Then I found a meaning thinking I want the truth I want the truth I want the truth I was busy reminiscing Then I found a meaning thinking I want the truth I want the truth I want the truth I was busy reminiscing Then I found a meaning thinking I want the truth I want the truth I want the truth I was busy reminiscing Then I found a meaning thinking I want the truth Memories of the television Taking up the room Memories of the television Taking up the room Darlings we’re not the same As our broken mothers As our drunken fathers Leave that war behind I’m Not Fucked up Fucked up Not Un- Unloveable I’m Not Fucked up Fucked up Not Un- Unloveable You’re not the hero who will save the broken You’re not the villain who destroyed the marriage You are you None of it’s your fault And it never was No it never was! Oh plastic melting You don’t have to linger Oh, you know… Can we make a friend today? Locked inside the mirror Can you make a friend today? Foreign yet familiar shape Can we make a friend today? Locked inside the mirror Can you make a friend today? Foreign yet familiar shape Oh UFO UFO you know! ufoufoufo

On the other side of the grief is a life I thought could never be Walking and aiming through fog, asphyxiating Left, right, left, right Striking from beneath the tongue, raising my Destructo Lung! 'Cross the bridge It's okay to take a moment to Think around and think about the other possibilities Your thoughts are just thoughts, not your actions What you feel inside is not a choice so shed the shame and look Just be patient We all need love So give yourself some space to think We all need love, so you should give yourself some time and space to just think freely Freely Terror of the mind You are undefined I was never taught how to hear my voice How to trust my thoughts Back then I was a boy Trying to fix two broken people I was never shown how to feel my feelings It's not my failing Deep inside my bones, clawing at the ceiling Crawling towards them, never close enough Never closer I'm not who I used to be I'm looking in the mirror trying to see who I am Here finally on the other side I stay looking forward with open eyes I can't compete and I hope I'm right giving my rage the space to speak I need a day to think and a day to sleep, a day to speak, old bitch There's been a data breach (Edit in whatever this line is) Made a right on Wilshire A left on Sycamore Tried to dedicate to a softer image I ate my spinach, played kind to villains Listened to Mathcore and Jazz Rap Synth Wave, Romantic, Boom Clap DnB, Groove Metal Swim deep, got goose feathers New levels, no devils, no She has skull bones in her backpack Images of all her future victims, she hasn't had yet You can feel There's no comfort in the familiar You'll spend eighty years dying slow So don't No, she wasn't built to- (only alone) -burn, but neither were you (you have to run) There's no comfort in the familiar (You have to) Listen to your rage What's it trying to say? Feel it in your face Who made you feel this way? (Too many ones and zeroes) I'm not yours, I'm not yours I am mine, I am mine You are yours, go! On the other side of the grief is a life I thought could never be Walking and aiming through fog, asphyxiating Left, right, left, right Striking from beneath the tongue, raising my Destructo Lung!

Extrasolar, alloy collar ID Born of magic, puking rabbits Envied allies, betrayed heart for IP Friends in fashion, rosey glasses Found the proper verbiage, the mirage of fucking garbage Spent the day headaching, feeling sick of participating So I run around, look at these pretty cool rocks I found And I woke up smiling, the rope's been cast into the ivy Sun spots forming on the Earth Open up the book to read, well we're repeating history I'm frozen in the cycle of revolution It's over and over Over and over and over and over Over and over Over and over Back of the mind, back to itself Back to myself, what is my self? I make a choice, I make it clear I will never be controlled by my fear! Bleghhh You can call it bona fide, you can say it's okay (Mother) But I know in heart of hearts, it's okay if it's not (You won't win me) If you take my life away, I'd say I'd had let you So I never will give it Give you the choice over me I see your collar ID on the voice that's deep inside, you were telling me bad things, "I'm Bad", no I don't think so! You've been shooting from the free throw, let go I'll peel your fucking fingers, and it's not for you. I am simply not for you! Say "Goodbye" Since you don't know how to say "Sorry" Driving down the Highway to Try to recon- -cile with Your one only Child who Loved you dearly Was too hard! I've burned the bridge Carrying what could have been I've burned it all I've suffered long enough I just want to look onward, but I know I have to feel Full of sadness and anger, yeah I know I have to feel I just want to look onward, and I know that I am free Full of weakness and heartache Strong in knowing I am free I am free I am free I'm free I'M FREE Free You've always been free!!!

I see now, Idenden. You were lying to me. I believed your every spitting word, because I thought you were the Iden of Perception, the glimpse into all that is and could be. I met Paserin, and that title belonged to them. They revealed to me the truth. Every inch of this galaxy you have shown me, all the wars I fought to make peace, all of it was in your interest. There is no war for peace, only the one waged against you. I stand with Rio. I stand with my friends. I stand for myself. Now I see it all, Paserin was always inside me. MY heart drums fully awakened, and you will not live to see me bend for you, not one more time. Now this is my story.